In Memory of Ryan... gone too soon, but never forgotten.

Ryan's Page December 17, 1987- November 22, 2012 Mixed Media Collage.

This entry is dedicated to my friend Ryan.   Ryan and I have never met, yet I consider him to be a friend.  In a world that has become smaller thanks to technology and the Internet,  I have several cyberfriends from around the world.  Friends who I have never physically touched or hugged, but that does not make their importance in my life any less.  I have laughed with these friends, cried with these friends, listened to music with these friends and on occasion been drunk with these friends.  All thanks to the wonders of video phone, I have been connected to people who I might have never have met otherwise.  Ryan was one of those people.  In fact Ryan was the first person to walk me through the Tiny Chat process, our interaction brief that time, as I watched him game, and he laughed at my lack of tech savvy.  Over time I began to know Ryan better, we played the same game, sometimes on the same side, sometimes not.  He was funny, caring and would do anything for a smile.  Our group video conferences were always chaotic, but Ryan always took the time to say hi and welcome me.  Ryan was a glass is half full kinda guy.  Those who knew him would speak of his humour, his kindness, and his warmth. 

 

 

Ryan went missing last year on February 13. I last spoke with him on the 12th, in which he excitedly told me about his day with his daughter.  His first in a VERY long time.  It was the last time I spoke to him, but he was full of smiles and promise.  Life was looking up.  On this past Thursday, November 22nd, Police Services announced that the remains of my friend had been found, and 1st degree premeditated murder charges are pending for three suspects.  My heart hurts for my friend, his family, and his daughter.  That three people felt they needed to play god in the life of a human being is reprehensible.  Ryan was only 24, a life full ahead of him.  He will never, ever live his life as he imagined, to the fullest.  That he will never again smile, laugh, cry, dream, know his daughter or love, is unimaginable as I try to make sense of his death.  And there is no making sense of it, ever.   So I honour Ryan today, and will continue to remember and honour him always by living my life to the fullest, in a glass is half full kinda way.  <3 Balls to you Ryan!  You had it in spades.  You were a brief presence in my life, but your light shone brightly, and will continue to shine in my heart for the rest of my days.  Be at peace Eli.

 

 

Be Safe, Love Yourself, and Be Good to each other....

 



Wishes

Little Mermaid - Mixed media, marker, acrylic

 

 

 

 

So this weeks list it Tuesday... yes I know it's Wednesday... is a wish list.   My mother and I use to play a game with the Consumer's Catalogue (anyone remember Consumer's?)  and the Sears Wish Book.  I believe she played it with her mother as well.  It was called "If I had a million."  We would sit together on the couch, catalogue between us, and for each page, we could only pick out one item we would want if we had all the money in the world.   As a child it was great fun with mom, looking back as an adult,  I see now how poignant that game was.  I wanted for nothing as a child.  As the only child and only grandchild, I was indulged and spoilt and loved.  My mother gave me the childhood she always wanted.  My mom's mom died when she was young, and my mom grew up the middle of three girls with a single alcoholic father.  Her's was not a very happy childhood and I often wonder if she played that game as a little girl desperately wishing for her wishes to come true and how disappointed she must have been when more often than not, they didn't.  She is my wish come true, she is everything I could want in a mother, a role model, a friend, a caregiver.    Now that mom is older, she is learning to make her own wishes come true.  She is a true inspiration.   In the past few years, she has a swam with dolphins, zip lined, para glided, and most recently returned from a two week trip to Ghana helping to build a school for the children (something she has been wanting to do her whole life).  The emotion as she spoke of her time there was powerful, as she said to me, "When you think you have it bad, when you think you have nothing, you must remember that there are people that have literally nothing, we (as first world nation) know nothing about what true poverty is".  I look forward to hearing more about her time in Ghana after she has time to reflect on and process her experience. 

 

 

Wow.. that was pretty heavy for the beginning of a usually light hearted list it Tuesday!  I guess I just wanted to ponder on my wish list, and even though it's for fun, and some of my list seems frivolous and excessive, I am truly grateful and blessed for the people in my life, the roof over my head, and the food in my belly.  So without further ado, I present to you my list.

 

1.  Full line of copics.... I laughed at how many people had this on their list.  But seriously, have you used a copic?  Drools....

2. Full line of CW stencils... because Crafters Workshop stencils are awesome!

3. Ah Hell let's go for broke, a magic art supply cupboard that stocks whatever I need whenever I need it.

4. While we are on magic, how about a magic fridge that has meals already prepped and ready when I open it's magical door.

5. While on the topic of food, I'd really like chocolate and ice cream to be nutritious and fat/calorie free.

6. A maid service... I would love a maid service, more time to create less time doing laundry.

7. Speaking of Laundry, how about a dryer that doesn't eat socks and folds the clothes for you.

8. While on the subject of domestic bliss I wish for my husband to learn to put the dishes in the dishwasher.. seriously, how hard can it be?

9.  My kids to grow up happy, and health, and appreciative

10. To spend a year with my family and travel the world. 

 

And for you and everyone in the world, I wish for peace, happiness and good health.

 

Stay safe and Love Yourself



The List of Lists

 

 

 

 

How many lists would a list maker make if a list maker could make lists... Here is my List of Lists.. broken up into Light and Dark.  Let's face it, life isn't all squirts and giggles, there is both moments of beautiful scintillating light, and moments of deep despairing dark.  I believe that the darkness should be embraced just as fully as the light.  Why hide from it?  It's all about balance.  So, here's a list of things I think are worth being listed. 

 

 

Childhood memories

10 things (or a hundred things) that you love about yourself.

Favourite childhood toys

10 people you wish you could meet

Things you swore you would never say to your kids before you had kids

Your bucket List

the soundtrack to one day in your life

words you love the sound of

 

 

Now welcome to the darkside... Mwahahaha!

 

Things that scare you

Scars and all their stories

things you wish you knew or could tell your sixteen year old self

things that drive you crazy

things you despise.

 

 

Hope these suggestions inspire you! 

 

Stay safe and Love yourself.

 



Annette's tits are great, and other truths....

Mixed media, acrylic  and marker

"I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being.  It happened in the summer of 1959 - a long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years."   Well not really.. it happened in the summer of 1986, and I was 10 years old, and it wasn't a dead body... Mr. Krazy often teases me whenever I recount my childhood, because more often than not the tale starts as such "When I was ten years old...."  Now he preempts my story telling with "Let me guess, you were ten".  But seriously, do any of you have a year in your life that is full with memories of sunny days, the scent of summer, and the innocence of youth?  When you owned the world, and the only tragedy was when the street lights turned on?  Yeah... that year... happened when I was ten, and sooo many of those memories involve movies and my best friend D.   D. and I that summer watched Stand by Me every single day... EVERY SINGLE DAY, sometimes more than once.  We would have sleep overs with Gordie, Chris, Teddy and Vern, eating popcorn and cheese balls, and long after the lights were out, we would lay in my water bed reciting the movie, verbatim.  Our walls were covered in River Phoenix, and Wil Wheaton... we listened to tunes from the fifties, read Steven King's "The Body" and  we wrote stories about what happened after the movie ended.  It was our thing.  That movie... is the epitome of my childhood.  "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"  So, So, so very true!

Some other quotes from Stand By Me-

"Annette's Tit's are great!"
"Train Dodge.  Dig it!"
"Give me some skin"
"Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood"
"Chopper Sick Balls!"

I could go on, but lets leave some love to some of my other childhood favourites"

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

"Strange things are afoot at the circle K"
"Party on Dudes"
"Excellent!  Bogus!"
"It's your MOM dude!"

Goonies

"Hey YOU GUUUUUYS!!!"
"Fiffy dolla bill fiffy dolla bill"
"Sloth love Chuck"

Lost Boys -

"The one thing about Santa Carla I never could stomach... All the DAMN vampires!"
"Maggot's Micheal!  You're eating maggots!  How do they taste?"
"Death by Stereo"


Until next time!  Stay safe and love yourself!

 

Slowing Down

Mixed media, Distress Ink, tea, and Pen

 

 

 

 

 



November's prompt over at A Year in the Life of a Journal is RELAX.  Visually, I am not happy with this page, it's kinda blah.. kinda like the month of November.  The upside is that my journal now smells like chai tea, an aroma that wafts over me whenever I open a page to create.  It's strangely comforting.  RELAX is an interesting concept this time of year, especially for me, as the holiday season is beginning to ramp up.  The holidays are a somewhat stressful time, as I try to make it memorable and meaningful for the kids.    As an adult my mind tries to stretch what little money there is to make thinks magical.  Don't get me wrong, it's not about the giving or the gifting, and we put very little emphasis on the material here at chez Krazy, but I want my kids to have the magic and warmth that I fondly remember as a child.  They are only so young for such a short time, but memories made, those will last a life time.  Unfortunately, November is the time of year I typically start to enter hibernation mode.  I start to shut down physically and emotionally, some days it's a challenge to get out of bed.  I usually perk up a bit around Christmas only to crash and burn in the aftermath of the holidays.    It is something I desperately want to try to avoid this year.  It starts here, with this blog, my art journaling, and my creative head space.  I'm hoping that these things will be my life line, my reminder that although the days are dark and grey, my home, my heart, my creativity is a place of light.   With this page I remind myself to TAKE IT EASY.  Read books, take bubble baths, star gaze, make art, drink tea, be still, daydream, listen, feel.  Take Time, Make Time, Wander with Wonder, just BE...    Until next time. 

Stay safe and Love Yourself,